Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Word was ...

A young monk arrives at the monastery.   He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by handHe notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up!  In fact, that error would be continued in all of  the subsequent copies.

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.  Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.   So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.  He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.
We missed  the R !
      We missed  the 
R !

We  missed the R !'

His  forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.  The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?'

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, 'The  word was...


Saturday, October 30, 2010

Truths for Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. 

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 

3.  I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 

4.  There is great need for a sarcasm font. 

5.  How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 

6.  Was learning cursive really necessary? 

7.  Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 

8.  Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 

9.  I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 

10.  Bad decisions make good stories. 

11.  You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 

12,  Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.   

13.  I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. 

14  I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 

15.  I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 

16.  I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay . 

17.  I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18.  I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.     

19.  How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? 

20.  I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! 

21.  Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. 

22.  Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.  

23.  Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! 

24.  The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.   That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. 

Friday, October 8, 2010

The Beginning ...

I AM sure you've seen or heard the expression "Carpe Diem." I once gave a coffee mug to my Mother where "Carpe Diem" cleverly revealed itself when the heat of the coffee warmed the cup. I've also seen it on tee-shirts, greeting cards, key chains ... suffice it to say, its been around. In case you don't know, Carpe Diem is Latin for "Seize the Day." But you know what I say? FORGET IT!!

Maybe 40 years ago this philosophy made sense. Geez, 40 years ago time moved much slower, and a day seemed like a reasonable period of time to seize. But what does a day mean in today's terms? To me, a day seems to last only a matter of minutes!

How can I possibly "Seize the Day" when I have to continuously juggle my calendar to accomplish the scores of things I have to do, and the many more that I want to do? If I try to just "Seize the Day", I get so wrapped up in making it a productive day, that I miss the joy of each of the moments that make up the day.

After all, there should be great joy in the journey, not only in the destination.

I also catch myself wasting precious time worrying about some future moment. What usually happens to me is that I'll worry about something, then circumstances will change, and then the object of my concern doesn't even exist anymore! In the meantime, priceless moments, which I could have savored, have been forever lost. And the hours and the days fly by.

So I say, FORGET Carpe Diem! Instead, I suggest CARPE MOMENTO! "Seizing the Moment" makes much more sense to me since the moment is all we really have. Think about it ... the only real guarantee that we have is that we are alive AT THIS VERY MOMENT. Period ... that's it. Now, with that truth in mind, does it make sense to worry about the future -- or the past? Isn't it reasonable to accept that if we take care of each moment as it comes, all of the following moments will take care of themselves?

Living In The Now. Have you tried it? Have you ever really stopped EVERYTHING and just felt your heart beating and your breath in your chest? Feel your big toe ... listen to all of the sounds in the room around you ... what do you smell? ... look in every corner of the room ... what taste is in your mouth? Seize This Moment because this combination of time and space will never happen just like this again. You know what I mean -- have you ever had a great experience and then tried to repeat it? It's NEVER the same; maybe it's better and maybe it's worse. But it's never the same.

Why are we wasting all of the moments of our life?

Think of how different life would feel if you lived in The Now. I call that perception Super-Consciousness, and when I practice it, I am overcome with a joy and thankfulness for my life, my blessings, and my limitless possibilities. The feeling is a "high" unlike any other.

So I say, FORGET Carpe Diem. Give yourself the gift of CARPE MOMENTO instead! And do it ... RIGHT NOW!


April 1994